The mess we hide

I do around 1000 house inspections every year.

Most homes are, well, like most homes. A bit messy, some cobwebs in the corners, and a few unfinished dishes in the sink.

Often, the homeowners apologize for the mess, convinced their house is a disaster compared to others. When I tell them it’s actually very average, they look both relieved and surprised.

And when I explain what it really takes for me to raise my eyebrows, they can hardly believe it. Many have gone through life thinking they’re the “messy ones”.

It’s not strange. At dinner invites, we don’t see the everyday household. We see the polished version, the Insta snapshot.

We all do it.

When guests come over, when we’re at a job interview, or when we spot a police car in the rearview mirror. That’s not our average self shaking hands or driving around. That’s our pimped, perfect, pretty, prima persona.

And that’s only the outside. Inside, how we really feel, we often paint an even glossier picture. No stains, just shiny happy people.

But it’s the same story here. We’re not alone in not feeling great all the time. Sometimes the mess at home is nothing compared to the mess inside. That’s human.

When we dare to open up, when we’re true to ourselves and others, something amazing happens. Others open up too. Suddenly the weight is shared, and the burden feels lighter.

There’s relief. There’s room to breathe again.