The uplifting burdon of living

I started the weekend with a visit to a burger joint in my neighborhood. I took a seat on the outdoor patio, feeling grateful that this time of year finally has arrived here in Sweden.

It was almost full. When a group of friends couldn’t find a table, I offered them to sit at mine. Since I was alone, I couldn’t help but overhear their conversation.

One of them told his friends he wasn’t feeling great. He explained that work had been overwhelming, things were complicated with his girlfriend, and he felt completely drained. He added:

“I don’t get why I always have to feel so much. I get completely consumed when stuff happens. I don’t want it to be like this!”

I recognized those strong emotions all too well, the kind that take you over like a parasite.

It doesn’t even have to be about something that affects me directly. Just today, for example, a client told me that her best friend had contracted TBE and would have to spend the rest of her life in a wheelchair. I barely managed to hold back the tears.

On the way home from the restaurant, I kept thinking about the last thing he said:

“I don’t want it to be like this!”

Sure, it would be nice to be able to avoid it. But if that comes at the cost of all the beautiful emotions, then I’ll take the tough stuff any day of the week.

I want to feel the gratitude in a simple dinner on a patio, the beauty in how the sun and shadows paint a perfect scene. Or the way the landscape stretches out when I drive from one client to another. Or the tears that well up when I burst into them yet again during a cheesy movie ending.

Emotions can be heavy, but they can also be incredibly uplifting—and that’s something I never want to lose.